Sinopse

Help Me Be Me is an emotional toolkit for creating positive change in yourself. I like to think of it as self-help for people who hate self-help. I'm Sarah May, author/podcaster/relationship coach, and these are the tools that work for me in my life. I think they'll work for you, too. For all the tools I offer, check out YayWithMe.comWhat I share is my personal opinion and not a diagnosis for treatment. I am not a licensed therapist and this podcast is not a substitute for professional help. If you're suffering, please reach out to your local emergency services or call 9-1-1.Music theme created by www.BookerHillMusic.comPrevious intro music by www.FurnivalMusic.com***Hey listeners! I am currently on maternity leave until January 1st 2018! New episodes will be posted as I'm able. xo***

Episódios

  • Ep 138: Negotiating Messy Family Relationships

    Ep 138: Negotiating Messy Family Relationships

    25/11/2020 Duração: 33min

    It can painful and confusing to deal with all the feels that come up around family, especially when certain members of your family don’t get along. So if you’re having some shit come up – including a lot of hurt around negotiating the way you relate to other family members, then this is an episode for you! This episode is aimed at organizing your feelings so you can remember why you’re doing what you’re doing. The most important priority is to come from love. Why? Because when you do that you are right with yourself. And happy holidays my lovely friends! xoxo The book I reference in this episode is here: https://amzn.to/3m8oG8u This episode is sponsored by Better Help: online access to therapists, around the globe. If you want to support this show, use our code for 10% off your first month of therapy. Head to TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe

  • Seriously Burned Out

    Seriously Burned Out

    10/11/2020 Duração: 21min

    This is a power-up episode for anyone who feels exhausted and burned out by their week. Maybe you are multitasking a lot and feeling super overwhelmed by the days and weeks to come. That could be due to COVID, job, lack of job, stress, kids, dating, lack of dating, fear, anxiety, or life crap in general! Heads up this is best done when you can close your eyes – but that’s not a mandate. (BTW, this was recorded last week before the US presidential election – just in case you were wondering..) This episode is sponsored by Better Help: online access to therapists, around the globe. If you want to support this show, use our code for 10% off your first month of therapy. Head to TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe

  • Ep 137: Fight Loops in Relationships - Finding Empowerment

    Ep 137: Fight Loops in Relationships - Finding Empowerment

    27/10/2020 Duração: 38min

    This is for anyone who is finding themselves in predictable fight loops with their partner or any other close relationship. Maybe you are frustrated they are not doing what you think they should be doing or you find yourself exploding at them then feeling weak and shitty about yourself. It’s about how to find empowerment and align your actions behind what it is you truly want. I’d say it’s the start of the path toward making a change that needs to take place. The two books and the article I mention in this episode are here: https://amzn.to/31uf13I https://amzn.to/37vlU8z https://www.nytimes.com/2020/10/15/parenting/kids-tantrums-advice.html This episode is sponsored by Better Help: online access to therapists, around the globe. If you want to support this show, use our code for 10% off your first month of therapy. Head to TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe

  • Don’t Forget Yourself: Keeping Lightness in Your Life

    Don’t Forget Yourself: Keeping Lightness in Your Life

    13/10/2020 Duração: 19min

    This is a power-up (shorter) episode for anyone who has been living in a purely reactive state where they are going through the motions/dealing with thousands of to-do’s. It’s really easy to forget what is good and fun in your life and with that, we start expecting/seeing only the serious and dire around us. It’s also easy to forget what makes you You, and what makes that self-awesome. This is a little energy-setting reminder. This episode is sponsored by Better Help: online access to therapists, around the globe. If you want to support this show, use our code for 10% off your first month of therapy. Head to TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe

  • Ep 136: Rock Bottom - Where to Go From Shame

    Ep 136: Rock Bottom - Where to Go From Shame

    29/09/2020 Duração: 25min

    This is for anyone who wakes up and feels like a different person. One who they really don’t like. And you can’t do anything about it. Maybe you did something really terrible and you thought you knew yourself, but you now realize you didn’t know yourself. It could be a shameful action or a revelation about yourself. It’s paralyzing and ugly and crippling in how it makes you feel. This is rock bottom. The fucking worst of days. Where do you go from here? That’s what this episode is about. Because the hardest most impossible changes we make in life – are a choice. This is a shorter episode because it’s a simple message. The goal of this episode is to help you turn around. This episode is sponsored by Better Help: online therapy with licensed counselors, available around the globe. To get started and also help out this podcast, use our code and get 10% off your first month of therapy. Visit TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe

  • Ep 135: Empty on the Inside - Attention-Seeking on the Outside

    Ep 135: Empty on the Inside - Attention-Seeking on the Outside

    15/09/2020 Duração: 38min

    How being overly identified with what others think is tied to a lack of self-love. This is for anyone who doesn’t trust themselves and generally doesn’t feel they’re a quality person. If you act in really selfish and self-destructive ways – maybe you betray others and lie or cheat. Or you feel really heavily identified with your body or your appearance, or the attention of others – but you don’t feel there’s much more that’s good about you and who you are, then this is for you. This is about beginning the process of understanding why this is happening and also starting to build up faith that you are a good person. The mindfulness books I mention in this episode are here: https://amzn.to/3izGVla https://amzn.to/32jI371 https://amzn.to/2RkNBHY This episode is sponsored by Better Help: online therapy with licensed counselors, available around the globe. To get started and also help out this podcast, use our code and get 10% off your first month of therapy. Visit TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe

  • Ep 134: How to Stop Insecurities From Hurting Your Relationship

    Ep 134: How to Stop Insecurities From Hurting Your Relationship

    01/09/2020 Duração: 32min

    If you have insecurities that come up and cause you to push your partner away or cling too closely, this is for you. Maybe you find that you are acting out in petty ways – like, starting fights. Or maybe it comes out in jealousy. When you get insecure, you are taken out of the present joy of a relationship, something that can make you feel haunted or like you are going crazy. The worst part of insecurities is you unfriend yourself in the process. You don’t feel you SHOULD feel the way you do, so it makes you feel shitty about yourself FOR feeling shitty about yourself. Often what we do in these situations is pretend it isn’t happening. So if this sounds true for you – this is an episode for you! As with all my episodes, there are 3 parts – the what, why, and how the tools. This episode is sponsored by Better Help: online therapy with licensed counselors, available around the globe. If you feel stuck in life or something is blocking you from the change you want to make, try Better Help – simply fill out a su

  • When the Narcissist Contacts You Out of the Blue

    When the Narcissist Contacts You Out of the Blue

    18/08/2020 Duração: 24min

    This is for anyone who has escaped a relationship with a narcissist and they reach out to you, out of the blue – and how to navigate that situation. So if you were manipulated, taken advantage of, and could not find your way out of a relationship that left you feeling like the shell of a human – you were likely with a narcissist. Getting out of this kind of relationship is extremely difficult – so the eventual reach-out from this person might leave you feeling sick to your stomach. I send you my love and please stay strong! The two previous episodes I have done on this topic are here: https://soundcloud.com/helpmebeme/episode-50-how-to-break-away-from-a-narcissist-relationship https://soundcloud.com/helpmebeme/ep-111-how-to-tell-if-youre-dating-a-narcissist The book I mentioned that I like on this topic is here: https://amzn.to/3iFhYEC This episode is brought to you by Better Help: online access to therapists, around the globe. If you want to support this show, use our code for 10% off your first month of

  • Ep 133: Stuck + Ambivalent: When You Can’t Make a Decision or Let Go

    Ep 133: Stuck + Ambivalent: When You Can’t Make a Decision or Let Go

    04/08/2020 Duração: 30min

    One of the hardest things to do is give up or accept a loss, even if we are unhappy and have been for a really long time. This is for anyone stuck in ambivalence over a decision to create a change in their life. Sometimes this happens when you are in a long relationship and you feel you can’t leave it – even though you are not happy and you don’t feel in love. Another common scenario is when you are in a field you don’t love but you have been to school for x number of years so you feel like you can’t leave now. It’s so scary to trust the feelings you have when you know they can sometimes change – especially when weighing this against something that is valuable in the eyes of the world. The book I referenced by Dan Ariely is here: https://amzn.to/2DwW9bl This episode is brought to you by Better Help: online therapy with licensed counselors, available around the globe. If you want to help out this podcast, use our code and get 10% off your first month of therapy, visit TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe

  • Ep 132: Not Good Enough: Obsessing About Our Faults + What to Do About It

    Ep 132: Not Good Enough: Obsessing About Our Faults + What to Do About It

    20/07/2020 Duração: 58min

    This is an episode about feeling “not enough” and constantly fixating on an identity that is lower, less-than, lazy, fill-in-the-blank negative adjective. What I am describing is something in part caused by our negativity-bias – that part of our brain that scans for threat and fixates. It’s also an identity: a secret truth – one that you subconsciously adhere to. The explanation for all things in your life, that gets repeated to you in your head whenever you are rejected, or complimented for that matter. It’s a story that restates what you lack and interprets the subtext of every situation. It’s pretty much like building a small fence around your life because it dictates how far you’re willing to strive, how much money you think you deserve, how bold you act at work, and what possibilities you even see as open to you as an individual. Which sucks! Because it’s a story ultimately created by you. It can be reinforced by the outside world but you have the ultimate authorship power to affirm or reject that story

  • Ep 131: Working as a Creative + Sharing Yourself With the World

    Ep 131: Working as a Creative + Sharing Yourself With the World

    20/06/2020 Duração: 52min

    This is an episode about whether to make your creative passion into your job and how to create for public consumption, especially if you are a sensitive person. I have had several people ask me about podcasting and how to get started in it. I have also mentored several people in creative fields – so this is a blend of what I have shared with those people. In sum this is for anyone making the decision to do creative work and how it should come about in your life so you can thrive. - - - - If you are currently struggling with your mental health and are interested in trying therapy, you can be paired with a therapist within 24 hours via your phone or computer. To get started, simply fill out a brief survey and you will be paired with a licensed counselor – and it’s free to switch if you don’t like the first one you get. For 10% off your first month of therapy and to support this show head to TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe

  • Feeling Unstable: For Those Having a Hard Time Emotionally Processing

    Feeling Unstable: For Those Having a Hard Time Emotionally Processing

    04/06/2020 Duração: 46min

    This is an episode for those dealing with a fragile emotional state and they don’t know what to do with themselves. Who I am speaking to here are those who are overwhelmed and don’t know where to turn. The letters I am getting are not all related to one source of upheaval: Some of you are struggling to process anger and feelings of powerlessness over injustice. Some of you are struggling to deal with anxiety and sadness on top of anger and powerlessness. Some of you are feeling so many things that you feel as if you are going to break into a million pieces. Some of you feel useless and like nothing you do matters. Some of you are feeling lonely and overwhelmed by COVID and worried about the uncertainty of the future. And there is so much happening right now – so much emotional upheaval, on top of the isolation we are already suffering due to COVID, and the uncertainty of the future, there are the high levels of joblessness. There’s a lot of toxicity in the news and especially in social media right now. In sho

  • Audience QA’s: On the Fence About Having Kids (part 2)

    Audience Q&A’s: On the Fence About Having Kids (part 2)

    22/05/2020 Duração: 59min

    This is an episode that answers questions from the audience about fears around having kids, and since I am about to give birth to my second child, I thought it timely! It's a followup to an episode I did a few years back on the same topic. The questions I answer are as follows: 1. I love my life now, I’m afraid of not being able to do what I want when I want to do it. I’m also afraid of another being depending so critically on me. How do I know if I should have kids? 2. How will my anxiety be when I’m a parent? 3. What is it like to never have a break? How do you adjust and get through? 4. What joys of parenting have you found ground you? 5. What are the normal highs and lows and how do you ride them? For anyone new listening to this show, I am a regular person who has lived through a lot of random difficult shit and come out the other end pretty happy, high functioning, with healthy relationships. I am not a therapist or a scholar! So take what helps and leave the rest. A couple of books on this subject (a

  • Ep 130: Clinging Desperately to Relationships – Even When They’re Not Great

    Ep 130: Clinging Desperately to Relationships – Even When They’re Not Great

    09/05/2020 Duração: 45min

    This is an episode for if you have a painful obsession with an ex or a pervasive habit of fixating on relationships: they’re more important than job, personal time, family and friends. And often that relationship is one you know isn’t great – but you still obsess about that person, and it consumes your life. This might be especially painful during quarantine because you’re unable to distract yourself and do something about it. This is about putting yourself in ridiculously desperate positions, clinging to a relationship – even when you know it isn’t right for you. And that gush of fear, terror, loneliness, pain that overwhelms you and causes you to feel like you’d do ANYTHING to get someone to come back to you. It can make you act in crazy and degrading ways – but the pain of not having a person is too great. This was a request from a few different people (some of whom requested it quite a long time ago - so hopefully this is still helpful)!! The two books I mention in this episode are here: https://amzn.to

  • Ep 129: Caregiver Burnout + Secondary Trauma: When the suffering of others gets to you

    Ep 129: Caregiver Burnout + Secondary Trauma: When the suffering of others gets to you

    22/04/2020 Duração: 43min

    If you are one of those people who are trying to make the world a better place and that process is taking a lot out of you – causing you vicarious trauma and a deeper kind of damage that affects your ability to continue to contribute to the good of others, then this is an episode for you! You might not even realize that this is happening to you – but maybe you have noticed that you exist in survival mode all the time and it has changed you. You might be irritable, exhausted, depressed, hopeless, overwhelmed, and thinking dark thoughts that you know are not right or appropriate for a healthy happy person to be thinking. If that sounds like you – this episode is a starting point. As with all of my episodes take what helps and leave the rest. I am just a regular person – I have no certificates whatsoever. So if you are suffering in a really bad way, please call 9-1-1 or your local emergency services. For more of my writing, to work with me, make a request or make a donation, head to Yaywithme.com xo And to read

  • Ep 128 : Totally Overwhelmed: Keeping Calm + Thinking Rationally

    Ep 128 : Totally Overwhelmed: Keeping Calm + Thinking Rationally

    07/04/2020 Duração: 53min

    This is an episode dedicated to self-regulation, if you are in and out of a state of panic, you get lost in your emotions, or perhaps even experiencing symptoms of trauma. Maybe you just lost someone – or your lost something, like your sense of security or your job. Or maybe you are fear-forecasting and feeling very overwhelmed by the outlook of the future – like figuring all of this out is impossible. This episode begins with a grounding exercise and ends with the 21-days-of-Happiness challenge. (I threw that in there because it’s an effective way to train your focus away from what’s wrong – so please don’t think I’m being flip by including it!) In between, there are a lot of tools for talking yourself back into a rational headspace. That said if you are feeling like you can't emotionally handle wherever you are right now, reach out to your local emergency services or check out this hotline: https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ I hope this helps you and if you’re looking for more of my work, head to YayWi

  • Ep 127: Dealing with Overwhelming Stress, Anxiety + Worry due to COVID-19

    Ep 127: Dealing with Overwhelming Stress, Anxiety + Worry due to COVID-19

    24/03/2020 Duração: 30min

    This is anyone struggling with anxiety and worry right now – maybe you’re having a hard time being quarantined, maybe you are now out of work, or maybe you’re getting overwhelmed by reading the news because of the various effects of coronavirus. Whatever it is, if you find yourself in a seemingly endless state of stress and you are dooming and glooming, this is an episode for you. This episode has 3 parts but it’s mostly tools. And heads up – I couldn’t get into the recording studio thanks to said virus, so this one has a lot of background noise. Apologies in advance!! For more of my work and to make a donation you can head to YayWithMe.com or visit me on Patreon. Thanks! xo - - - - - - - - This episode is brought to you by Ned, maker of (awesome) organic CBD products! I very much enjoy these products and they’re made from very high-quality ingredients. Go to www.helloned.com/HELPMEBEME or enter HELPMEBEME at checkout for 15% off your first order plus FREE shipping. Thanks!

  • Ep 126: Problems Oversharing in New Relationships

    Ep 126: Problems Oversharing in New Relationships

    10/03/2020 Duração: 40min

    This is an episode all about oversharing when you start a new relationship – consciously or unconsciously, and when that negatively affects your life. So for example – if you end up disclosing everything bad that has happened to you on a first date (romantic or friend), and you end up feeling naked and awkward after the fact. Or you find that you end up oversharing as a way to get people to pay attention to you – but this leads to relationships that are less than positive, on the whole in your life. As with all my episodes there are 3 parts – the what, the why, and the how – the tools. For more of my work and to make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com ! xo - - - - - - - - This episode is brought to you by Ned, maker of (awesome) organic CBD products! I very much enjoy these products and they’re made from very high quality ingredients. Go to www.helloned.com/HELPMEBEME or enter HELPMEBEME at checkout for 15% off your first order plus FREE shipping. Thanks!

  • Audience QA’s: Dealing with Rejection

    Audience Q&A’s: Dealing with Rejection

    01/03/2020 Duração: 40min

    In this episode, I am going to tackle a question from the audience (how to deal with rejection) and then go right into some tools! How to deal with rejection is a big one! It’s a muscle you have to intentionally grow. But quite literally it’s one of the most valuable muscles you can have because it means you move through life directly – with purpose, not guided by fear. It also means you grow exponentially. There are two pains in rejection: the loss of something imagined/the sadness of mourning. And second - the injury to ego. This second pain is the one that tends to fuck us up the most. Hopefully, I will offer you some tools for managing these pains and helping yourself move through rejection more quickly and positively, in the future! For more of my writing and to make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com or visit me on Patreon xo!

  • Ep 125: Base-Level Self: When Youre Acting Like a Person You Hate

    Ep 125: Base-Level Self: When You're Acting Like a Person You Hate

    12/02/2020 Duração: 35min

    This is an episode all about when you are your base level self. When you are rude, hurtful, intentionally mean, aggressive or difficult with others. Or perhaps you are sad, clingy, manipulative and controlling. In other words, when you act in ways that make you feel really bad about yourself. These states of being usually come about when you are super overworked or stressed, or you’re sleep-deprived or hormonal¬– and you end up snapping at people you love. Regardless of the conditions that set it up, it’s a state of being that perpetuates more of itself via feelings of shame and self-blame. A vicious cycle! So included in this episode are tools to help you navigate out of that state and also retrain yourself if you habitually end up here. For more of my work, to make a request, or to make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com xo! - - - - - - - - This episode is brought to you by Ned, maker of (awesome) organic CBD products! I very much enjoy these products and they’re made from very high quality ingredients. G

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