What Healthy Couples Know That You Don't

Sinopse

Relationships matter. Do you want to know the nitty gritty of what makes a relationship work? Get your answers to relationship questions. Learn how to keep respect alive & well, because lack of respect is why people get divorced.  Learn what builds trust & how to recover from infidelity, drama or codependency. Advice from psychotherapist Rhoda Sommer based on over 35 years of working with couples. www.therapyideas.net

Episódios

  • Codependency, Lets Think About It As Self Love Deficiency

    Codependency, Let's Think About It As Self Love Deficiency

    06/05/2020 Duração: 35min

    Ross Rosenberg is important because he gave us a new way to think about codependency as self love deficient. He also explains why so many codependent people are addicted to being with the wrong partner, are afraid to be alone & often hook up with narcissists. He offers observe/ don't absorb as a technique to change & grow. 

  • Quarantine Life  Solving Relationship Struggles

    Quarantine Life & Solving Relationship Struggles

    07/04/2020 Duração: 12min

    When you are trapped together it can be easy to get stuck in obsessing about all the negatives that annoy you. Our brains love to hang onto negativity. Sometimes people miss that heady excitement of being in love which is different from actually living with love. Living with love means the work of acceptance. Acceptance of the annoyances because you are well aware of how annoying you are as well.

  • Relationships Require The Benefit Of The Doubt

    Relationships Require The Benefit Of The Doubt

    04/03/2020 Duração: 11min

      Relationships so easily end up in feeling critical of your partner or annoyed, that’s because living together exposes us to the other person’s dark side. Our brains encourage us to indulge our negativity. Add to that any resentments that have silently piled up which will feed stinginess. The resentments lie waiting in the dark to whack your partner off at the knees. 

  • Partners Who Take Up Too Much Space in a Relationship  A Marriage Story (The Movie)

    Partners Who Take Up Too Much Space in a Relationship & A Marriage Story (The Movie)

    03/02/2020 Duração: 14min

    Marriage is work because it’s a very tricky business for a marriage to get things right for BOTH people. That’s why marriage is hard work. The movie A Marriage Story gets a lot of things right. You watch how both Charlie & Nicole have responsibility for the demise of the marriage. Charlie is someone who takes up most of the space & Nicole allows it to happen.

  • Safety Has Exaggerated Importance In Relationships

    Safety Has Exaggerated Importance In Relationships

    06/01/2020 Duração: 15min

    Safety is a way we lie to ourselves about what will work to have a better life & better relationships. We clutch at believing it is safer to avoid talking about problems with our partners. Choices made for safety are always choices made out of fear. Safety is about the false comfort that false beliefs offer.

  • Babies  Their Impact On Relationships

    Babies & Their Impact On Relationships

    02/12/2019 Duração: 27min

    Babies arriving home, don’t have to erase relationships. We all love babies, they are so great and they're so wonderful. They're also tiny bloodsuckers that demand enormous time and energy from parents. My guest today is Joni Parthemer who is going to share her ideas of how to prevent the parents' relationship from disappearing.   

  • Choices  Their Impact On Relationships

    Choices & Their Impact On Relationships

    05/11/2019 Duração: 14min

    Choices define our lives & our relationships. Many of the choices we make are done without thinking or awareness because they are habits. What makes you more mentally healthy is being aware of having choices and making them. Listen & learn what choices will improve your relationship. 

  • ADDICTION RECOVERY  RELATIONSHIPS

    ADDICTION RECOVERY & RELATIONSHIPS

    01/10/2019 Duração: 35min

    Addiction recovery is too often only focused on the individual. There is an 8 year study that confirms greater recovery success when the relationship is intact & strong. The relationship needs to grow & do the opposite of Claudia Black's active addiction pattern "Don't Talk, Don't Trust, Don't Feel". Couples can learn to practice expressing thoughts & feelings with each other.

  • Sex Life Boost Needed for Your Relationship? Low Desire Problem?

    Sex Life Boost Needed for Your Relationship? Low Desire Problem?

    04/09/2019 Duração: 32min

    Sex life Boost is something everybody can benefit from. It's too easy to let desire fade away. Listen to learn how to restore vitality. Novelty doesn't work. This interview with Stephen Snyder is really important to finding the energy to make your sex life matter.

  • Disappointment  Exaggerated Feelings Can Destroy Relationships

    Disappointment & Exaggerated Feelings Can Destroy Relationships

    05/08/2019 Duração: 18min

    Disappointment can be dangerous to relationships. We, as human beings can be very irrational when it comes to disappointment. We nurse our disappointments & they grow to take up too much real estate inside of us. Feelings are important to know who you are & how you are unique. Feelings are also often exaggerated & most often selfish. Learning to balance your feelings by thinking things through is a great goal to improve relationships. 

  • Communicate Better By Understanding The Stories We Tell Ourselves

    Communicate Better By Understanding The Stories We Tell Ourselves

    02/07/2019 Duração: 12min

    Communication can be almost impossible with a partner if we only want to steer the story in our favor. Communication requires an openness to the validity of someone else’s story even if you don’t like it. Communication gets unstuck & we can communicate better when you are able to let two opposite things be true at the same time and let them sit quietly next to each other instead of trying to get one to win and erase the other. 

  • Anger Management  Relationships

    Anger Management & Relationships

    04/06/2019 Duração: 24min

    Anger can be a huge problem in relationships. This episode asks what's important about anger management for relationships? Anger can be incredibly self absorbed & ugly. It's easy to fall down the rabbit hole of "I'm right" & needing to win. We all want the power to control & be the Top Dog. So listen to this episode to learn how to reign it in. Interview with Matthew Plotner.

  • Infidelity  Forgiveness: Interview with Dr. Janis Spring

    Infidelity & Forgiveness: Interview with Dr. Janis Spring

    06/05/2019 Duração: 28min

    Infidelity is complicated & difficult to heal from. Dr Spring wrote the first book that defines infidelity as a loss of trust & a shattering of the self. The person who has been betrayed struggles to recapture their sense of themselves. The partner who had the affair needs to listen non-defensively, without interruption to the profound level of hurt. Quick apologies are not going to solve this for the person who is hurt & feels their life has blown up. Listen to learn what does work.

  • Date  Love Bravely Interview With Dr. Solomon

    Date & Love Bravely; Interview With Dr. Solomon

    02/04/2019 Duração: 28min

    Date to learn more about yourself. Don't stay in the safety of passivity, watching who they are. Dates can be practice to grow. Think of "every intimate partnership as a classroom in which I can learn again and again about myself, about commitment, about integrity, about authenticity, forgiveness & about apology." Quote & Interview with Dr.Solomon

  • Misery In Your Relationship  10 Ways To Fix It

    Misery In Your Relationship & 10 Ways To Fix It

    05/03/2019 Duração: 17min

    Misery can so easily build in any relationship. Misery zaps your energy to think & it's easy to indulge your sad feelings. The two of you as a couple can fall to the bottom of your priority list. The misery usually spills over into bickering & fighting with each other because we don’t kick the neighbor’s dog, we kick each other.

  • Fighting Can Improve Your Relationship

    Fighting Can Improve Your Relationship

    05/02/2019 Duração: 28min

    Learn how fights can be turned into recovery and intimate conversations. In your fighting there are clues to what you are really suffering from that you have not been able to confide in your partner. Interview with Dan Wile who says "The heart of a couple relationship is saying what you need to say & feeling that it has gotten across. It is having conversations that work out."

  • Manipulated  Overly Generous in Relationships?

    Manipulated & Overly Generous in Relationships?

    07/01/2019 Duração: 16min

    There are many lopsided relationships where one person is catered to & the other partner is what I call overly generous. Partners like to be the nice one but getting stuck in the niceness can evolve into a giant hidden pile of resentments. There is a price to be paid for too much kindness, you can lose track of who you are because you are so busy pleasing others.

  • Sexuality for Women Can Be Improved! Interview with Emily Nagoski

    Sexuality for Women Can Be Improved! Interview with Emily Nagoski

    07/11/2018 Duração: 33min

    Sexuality can be a complicated business, very different from how easy it is on television. Interview with Emily Nagoski the author of Come As You Are. Find out what to do about low desire. Most problems with orgasm occur because frustration does not add fuel to the accelerator. In fact, Frustration hits the brakes in sex. Learn here how to improve your context to improve desire.

  • Love  Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples

    Love & Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples

    02/11/2018 Duração: 26min

    Love matters so much to people, how it goes wrong & how to put it right. Emotionally Focused Therapy  is based on thousands of studies on human attachment, it basically gives us a way of understanding love. It's scary to reach for your partner and expose your softer feelings, because we're all scared of rejection and that's not because we're wimps or immature. It's because we're bonding mammals and our brains are wired to see cues of abandonment and rejection from the people we care about as danger cues, which makes it really difficult for people to be authentic in relationships.

  • Codependency Means Someone Gets Lost  The Relationship is Lopsided

    Codependency Means Someone Gets Lost & The Relationship is Lopsided

    10/09/2018 Duração: 15min

    Codependency is a murky business. Codependency is always a part of the beginnings of every love affair. The beginnings are so enchanting for all of us. Your partner can do no wrong, they are absolutely brilliant. Codependency is a part of love & yet it can swallow love whole & make it disappear. Emotional dependency can be a healthy activity & a part of a healthy relationship as long as both partners are still individuals.

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