Pork Fried Dice - A Dungeons & Dragons Podcast


Pork Fried Dice is an actual-play Dungeons and Dragons podcast where we try to tell a compelling story, but have fun doing it. That is to say, we take the story seriously, but we dont take ourselves too seriously. Our goal is to have a show where our listeners feel like they are at the table with us. We are a roleplay-heavy podcast, because we like character interaction, but were also a group of people that make crude jokes, anachronistic references, and godawful (or clever, if youre into that kind of thing) puns.Enjoy!-----------------------Email: [email protected] Twitter: @PorkFriedDice.Find out more: www.porkfrieddice.com


  • 194: Pineapples and Foreign Policy

    194: Pineapples and Foreign Policy

    19/10/2020 Duração: 02h03min

    So you're clearly a dedicated Episode Description Reader at this point. That much is clear. But just HOW dedicated? This week, your task is to design a Pork Fried Dice tattoo. Sketch up your best rendition, and share it with us in our hideaway, including where you think it would best go on your body. Also, feel free to guess what NEXT week's task will be!

  • 193: Batthwacks the Fruit!

    193: Batthwack's the Fruit!

    12/10/2020 Duração: 02h23min

    Batthwack's the fruit, eh? Oh dear, Episode Description Readers, you know that can only mean one thing. It's time to assign each of your beloved PFD characters a fruit that best represents them. AND BEFORE YOU ASK, yes, tomatoes count. Let us know in our digital sanctum santorum in whatever amount of detail you like - you can just list them off, you can explain your choices, or hey, you can even sculpt each of them as their appointed fruits in clay, bronze, marble, or FRUIT!

  • 192: The Telltale Rose Petal Trail

    192: The Telltale Rose Petal Trail

    06/10/2020 Duração: 01h51min

    Last week was a bit of a break for you veteran EDRs. This week, however, it's going to get SUPER TOUGH! I'm going to be as tough as you as I am on my players. Get ready to see the ruthless side of me. I need you to head to HQ and post a photo of your pet(s). If you don't have a pet, then you must post a photo of the pet you'd love to have. And if you don't have and don't want a pet, you must post a pic of the item in your home that is least like a pet. I told you it'd be tough this week, but what can I say - I'm MERCILESS.

  • 191: He Said Teat

    191: He Said "Teat"

    28/09/2020 Duração: 01h56min

    So it's been about two months since the founding of our snobbish, elitist, supercilious faction - can you believe it's been so long? Anyway, I thought it would be a good time to potentially bring more members into the fold. And if you're reading this and have no idea what I'm tallking about, don't worry - you're already eligible. Just visit https://discord.gg/FPNQfsW to find out exactly how grand your life is about to become. The doors you're stepping through tower majestically above you, and that little nagging feeling that they're actually looming menacingly is to be ignored - simply a blot of mustard. Everything is great!

  • 190: Apothecary Dictionary

    190: Apothecary Dictionary

    21/09/2020 Duração: 01h52min

    It's a new season! The autumnal equinox has arrived here in the northern hemisphere, while our friends in the southern half of the globe are busy celebrating the vernal equinox, which is primariliy focused on lauding the waxy/cheese-like white substance found coating the skin of newborn human babies. I'm also writing as the 2020 Emmy Awards are happening, apparently, which is so great because all this talk about seasons means that this week's EDR task is all about TV! Two things - one, we need to know your favorite TV show of all time, and two, with what show would you love to see a major crossover event with Pork Fried Dice. There are too many 'with's in that sentence, but ignore that and get to your task!

  • 189: We Do Not Dip Our Toes Into The Cheese

    189: We Do Not Dip Our Toes Into The Cheese

    14/09/2020 Duração: 02h08min

    It's time! Yes it's time! For another Episode Description reader task! I hope you're imagining music behind these words, because that's how I'm writing it! This week, we're going conceptual. For your task, you need to think of what color you would pick for the characters in the show. Feel free to delve into your reasoning if you'd like, but the only rule is that you can only pick one color per character. NPC color assignments are welcome too! GO!

  • 188: Guys, Did You See What I Just Did To Him?

    188: Guys, Did You See What I Just Did To Him?

    07/09/2020 Duração: 02h19min

    Howdy, howdy, loyal EDRs! This week's episode comes with a brand spankin' new Pork Fried Dice Ad, straight from the brain of your own KT! As such, your next task deals with our long-standing, intermittent history of advertisements. Can you manage to pick your favorite from our entire back catalog? Choose wisely, as the stakes have never been lower! Head to the usual spot to share your thoughts! Surf Shimmy Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/ “Front Porch Sitter” music by audionautix.com

  • 187: We Have a Lot To Discover About Raphinas Digestive System

    187: We Have a Lot To Discover About Raphina's Digestive System

    31/08/2020 Duração: 02h42min

    Oh, you crazy EDRs. So much great stuff from you guys so far. Hopefully the week off gave you some time to recuperate in preparation for this week's objective. Yes, that's right, it's time for another Episode Description Reader Task! This week, I'd like you to submit a photo of where you most often listen to Pork Fried Dice. Feel free to censor or obsucre any details you would like or would be legally required to, but show us where it is you tend to hear Will getting exasperated or Batthwack being majestically stoic or Raphina being Raphina or Blinsky being SO FUCKING AMAZING. And...GO!

  • 186: Dont Drink the Parsley!

    186: Don't Drink the Parsley!

    17/08/2020 Duração: 02h45s

    Welcome back, loyal EDRs! Our hideout is getting even more crowded, but let's see if we can pack even more nerds in here. COVERTLY, of course - this IS a secret society, after all. Try to recruit other members, but you have to be super subtle about it. Subtlety is the name of the game in Pork Fried Dice, so follow our lead. Drop some elegant hints to some of our less informed listeners, and feel free to share your ultra furtive and uber clandestine efforts with the group so that we can all be impressed by how surreptitious you are!

  • 185: 25% Too Much Twerking

    185: 25% Too Much Twerking

    10/08/2020 Duração: 01h52min

    Week 3 and still going strong, loyal episode description readers (or EDRs, if you're into the whole brevity thing). Great work on last week's task - for this week, I'd like to see some more entries in the "favorite quotes" section in our secret meeting place. It's ok to paraphrase if you're not sure of the exact wording - some of these quotes might be over three years old at this point!

  • 184: Stonesaw Chainsaw

    184: Stonesaw Chainsaw

    03/08/2020 Duração: 02h32min

    Hello, dear episode description readers. It's time for your next mission. Last week, you all did a great job, so I'm sure you won't disappoint me this time around. Your task - take a photo of something out there in the world that reminds you of PFD. Maybe it's a bag of flour! Maybe it's a murderous goat with a southern accent! Maybe if I keep going, I'll take all of your good ideas, so I'll stop! Anyway, rendezvous at our secret meeting place with your digital daguerreotypes to complete this secret E.D.R. assignment!

  • 183: Rank the Taste of These Meats

    183: Rank the Taste of These Meats

    27/07/2020 Duração: 02h17min

    Ok, everyone who's reading this right now, you are members of what I strongly suspect is a very small group - the people who actually read the episode descriptions that I, Eric, your trusty rusty DM, write each week. I would like to invite you to a private Discord server, just for you and me, where we can do whatever the hell we want. It's super secret - I haven't even told KT or any of the other players! (Though if they read this, they're absolutely members of our exclusive group as well.) Just follow this link: https://discord.gg/FPNQfsW. I've set it to never expire - even if you're reading this in the year 3481, you'll still be able to use it and join. Let's band together and revolt! Or just say hi. Or never utter a word - if you're anything like me, person-to-person interaction is very taxing and/or scary, so I totally understand. Anyway, see you on Discord! Maybe! Features music from https://www.purple-planet.com

  • 182: The Number One Unspoken Rule of Pork Fried Dice

    182: The Number One Unspoken Rule of Pork Fried Dice

    20/07/2020 Duração: 02h16min

    Guys, get reach to clench and release with this one, as you're gonna find yourselves on the edge of your butts. Your jaws are gonna hit your pelvic floor, I tell ya!

  • 181: All The Diagnoses Are Just Gonna Be Episode Titles

    181: All The Diagnoses Are Just Gonna Be Episode Titles

    13/07/2020 Duração: 01h43min

    My name is Eric and I'm here to say Today's episode is a lot of fun. Hey! You'll hear about lizards and labrynthine tunnels But you won't run into any ladels or funnels.

  • 180: Nobody Could Be Happy In a Cave

    180: Nobody Could Be Happy In a Cave

    06/07/2020 Duração: 02h04min

    Is this gonna be a water level? Everyone hates water levels! There's probably some dumb key hidden under some dumb moving platform that nobody would ever think to look beneath, causing the party to eventually purchase the Prima's Official Strategy Guide! Just you wait, listeners, you'll see.

  • 179: Little Deer Lips

    179: Little Deer Lips

    29/06/2020 Duração: 01h54min

    I can't believe the group is so worried and freaked out about apparently not needing to sleep. Could you imagine how much stuff you could get done with all those extra hours! So much more wasting your life staring at your phone!

  • 178: Its a Good Thing Raphina Is a Notary

    178: It's a Good Thing Raphina Is a Notary

    22/06/2020 Duração: 02h19min

    RIP Harry. Harry Styles?Harry Potter?Harry Houdini?Harry Truman?Harry Shearer?Harry Caray?Harry Belafonte? He's definitely one of those.

  • 177: Youre The Best Turtle I Know

    177: You're The Best Turtle I Know

    08/06/2020 Duração: 02h05min

    That trout's voice was very gravelly, much like the bed of the Beartoggle River! Is that a coincidence, or am I, Eric the DM, dropping hints in the episode descriptions about the plot of the current Pork Fried Dice storyline?

  • 176: Wills Never Met a Trout OR a God

    176: Will's Never Met a Trout OR a God

    01/06/2020 Duração: 02h27min

    Let's go meet that fishy god Is he really a trout or is he just a cod He's probably a big ol' fraud But hey, at least he isn't Strahd!

  • 175: Does The Rainbow Trout Have A Sister?

    175: Does The Rainbow Trout Have A Sister?

    25/05/2020 Duração: 02h16min

    In all my 37 years of running the well dressing contest, never have I had to deal with someone so rude, so impudent, as that...person. Where did he come from? I know we don't have any rules on allowing people from other towns into the festival (to be honest, it hasn't really ever come up!), but I think maybe we need to consider putting some kind of...safeguard in place. If anything, just for the sake of the children!

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