My name is Kuato and I am the leader of the rebellion. I speak about movies from the 1980's in order to instill hope to the masses. I will bring change and revolution with the principles I gained, and ask if you have a hot sister.


  • Road House +

    Road House +

    28/01/2019 Duração: 02h01s

    We open 2019 the best way we know ushering in the era of Swayze! Its fucking Patrick Swayze and fucking Sam Elliott kicking fucking ass in Road House!

  • Die Hard

    Die Hard

    23/12/2018 Duração: 01h34min

    'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, not a creature was stirring EXCEPT!!!...THE TWO ASSHOLES DROPPING A SPECIAL CHRISTMAS PODCAST ABOUT THE GREATEST XMAS MOVIE OF ALL TIME, DIE HARD!!!!!

  • The Monster Squad

    The Monster Squad

    29/10/2018 Duração: 01h36min

    Dracula crashes into Roger Murtuagh's front yard, walks around to the backyard and chucks a stick of dynamite into a children's treehouse and says, "Meeting adjourned."   That's all you need to know.

  • Transformers The Movie and The Burbs Part 2 - The Burbs

    Transformers The Movie and The 'Burbs Part 2 - The 'Burbs

    24/09/2018 Duração: 01h24min

    Join us as we close out our epic two-parter with Tom Hank's greatest movie ever: The Burbs! Bloodthirsty satanists move in next door to Ray Peterson while he's on vacation. Corey Feldman watches from his porch. Princess Leia goes to the lakehouse. It's the suburbanite's dream.

  • Transformers The Movie and The Burbs Part 1 - Transformers The Movie

    Transformers The Movie and The Burbs Part 1 - Transformers The Movie

    18/09/2018 Duração: 01h06min

    'Til all are one! We bring you greetings from the Rebellion! As we were occupied the majority of the summer, we decided to put out another 2-parter! Part 1 discusses the tale of two disparate tribes of transforming robots generating the largest body count ever seen (as well as shitting on the dreams of every 6-year old that watched this in '86). Part 2 takes a closer look at Greg's all time G.O.A.T, "The 'Burbs". It's the 80's Satanic Panic at its most gluttonous, and takes up the majority of real estate on Greg's vision board (coming soon)

  • Bloodsport and Hard to Kill - Part 2

    Bloodsport and Hard to Kill - Part 2

    06/09/2018 Duração: 58min

    Enjoy part 2!

  • Bloodsport and Hard to Kill Part 1 - Bloodsport

    Bloodsport and Hard to Kill Part 1 - Bloodsport

    06/09/2018 Duração: 58min

    Awesome two-parter! JCVD and Seagal together! Enjoy Bloodport and Hard to Kill!

  • Top Gun

    Top Gun

    04/07/2018 Duração: 01h38min

    A sexually repressed Naval Aviator is selected (by default) to the world's most elite aerial dogfighting school for fighter pilots: Fighter Weapons School. AKA: TOP GUN. He chases his classmates, some tail, and the ghost of his dead father in his relentless pursuit of...something (maybe King of the Beach '86). Most importantly, he wears aviators, buzzes towers, and meanders through his training to the greatest soundtrack known to man. Bill Pullman said it best in Independence Day: "Today is our Independence Day." Fine words from a fine man. On this Independence Day, we ask that you crank up your speakers to 11, and usher in a new era of the Rebellion to our NEW NATIONAL ANTHEM.

  • Karate Kid II

    Karate Kid II

    28/05/2018 Duração: 01h07min

    Daniel crosses the Pacific to get his ass handed to him on another continent, get some strange, and learn how to fight like a drum.

  • Kuato Eats Crawfish

    Kuato Eats Crawfish

    17/05/2018 Duração: 38min

    The rebellion enjoys the Condo annual crawfish boil and talks 80s movies with those unfortunate enough to be standing nearby.

  • Back to School

    Back to School

    25/04/2018 Duração: 01h15min

    A near septuagenarian returns to college to help his son from dropping out, but can't stop thinking with his dick. Its a dead man's party...let's discuss.

  • Rad


    14/04/2018 Duração: 52min

    Helltrack approaches...If you enjoy BMX acrobatics, children who swear with proficiency, and sociopathic twins with alliterative names (Rod and Rex Reynolds), then you'll enjoy this movie. We go balls out. Let's discuss.

  • Over the Top

    Over the Top

    14/04/2018 Duração: 31min

    "Some fight for money. Others fight for glory. He's fighting for his son's love." Screw that. This movie is about a questionable father with an even shittier son, except Sly Stallone is in it and he's a tits arm wrestler. There are trucks, there's oiled muscles, and there's Robert LOGGIA. We heart this movie. Let's discuss.

  • Best of the Best/Big Trouble in Little China

    Best of the Best/Big Trouble in Little China

    14/04/2018 Duração: 44min

    Welcome to Kuato's Rebellion! This site is dedicated to 80s movies that we love and have shaped our senses of humor and general world view. All reviews are conducted via our podcast, which as of this episode, could use some improvement. We encountered technical issues, format issues, and brain farts, but hey, we're just a couple fans who will conduct a training montage behind the scenes and emerge as pros in a span of 30 seconds. We hope you enjoy our discussions, and please continue listening to the rebellion!