Break The Cycle With Dsd

Sinopse

The podcast focusing on recovering from toxic narcissistic relationships with specific help to break the cycle of abuse for yourself and children. All are welcome and this podcast, and YouTube channel, serve both men and women, moms and dads.

Episódios

  • It really doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks | your foundation for recovery

    It really doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks | your foundation for recovery

    04/11/2020 Duração: 01h10s

    Duane starts the show discussing how you have to focus on building up your foundation on self validation. Ultimately it doesn’t matter what anyone thinks accept yourself. A caller shares how they have maintained their boundaries with the ex and had to keep their guard up around them. A listener comments about how they are living in the same house as their ex. This leads to a comparison of the movie War of the Roses. A listener asks the question is the narc aware of what they are doing. We then take a caller who shares how they decided to take proactive action to take charge of their life. Then a caller shares how you have to do what you need to do for you and maintain a sane, level headed response to your ex’s provocations. Finally we have a caller who shares how their ex is putting their young son in the middle and create drama.Participate in the show!During the show you can call in live at1 (424) 373-54831 (424) DSD-LIVEhttps://www.callinstudio.com/show/DSDLIVE (Web Interface - free dialing)You can

  • Getting provoked by the narcissistic ex

    Getting provoked by the narcissistic ex

    03/11/2020 Duração: 59min

    Duane starts the show by discussing examples of how a toxic high conflict ex will use any and ever opportunity to create conflict and try to undermine your relationship with your children. A listener comments how a psychiatrist friend recommended that he think of his ex as dead and doesn’t exist anymore. Duane discusses the reality of how the person was NEVER real and the relationship was manipulation and fake. This leads to a discussion about how a narcissistic ex thrives in conflict and absolutely can not bare to see you happy. Duane discusses why he believes his ex does not know about the channel. We then take a caller who discusses how we have to become this awesome solo parent and work around the other parent. A listen brings up how reactive abuse was used against them. We then take a caller who is just tired of begging the ex to see their daughter and struggling to finish court paperwork to enforce visitation. Duane discusses how the toxic ex thrives with the power of “no”. We then have a caller w

  • Why does everyone believe a narcissist

    Why does everyone believe a narcissist

    02/11/2020 Duração: 01h16s

    Duane starts the show with a listener question asking how can I be the best dad possible with only 9 hours of time every couple of weeks. He discusses how it is important to maximize the time you have, no matter how limited it might be, with your kids. Fostering the relationship and building on it can really help prevent parental alienation. Duane then is asked about being worried about our children having narcissistic traits and how he deals with it. A listener then shares a story where his ex went on vacation with the new boyfriend and left their 15 year old home instead of letting him have time. Duane talks about the realities of these situations and how there isn’t much we can do, unless you have right of first refusal. A caller shares their story of how their attorney has taken control of their disability settlement and how the ex is manipulating the situation to take as much as they can. This leads to a discuss on how it generally seems a narcissist is able to win people over to their side and ma

  • Use their narcissistic patterns to your advantage

    Use their narcissistic patterns to your advantage

    30/10/2020 Duração: 59min

    Understanding narcissistic toxic behavioral patterns can give you a distinct advantage against your ex. When you realize what you are dealing with you can predict what they will do and anticipate their “moves”. Duane shares a conversation where his ex said, “you don’t even know me” and how that was the catalyst to seeing behind the narcissistic vail. We then have a return caller who shares how their trail went after having a horrible GAL report and testimony. Duane then talks about how we can allow ourselves to fall into the pit of despair and start to give up. It is important to realize it isn’t over until a decision is made, so DO NOT GIVE UP. We discuss a comment from the caller about the DSD community and Duane talks about the DSD Discord server as another way for people to connect. We then have another caller who shares how when you understand “cluster-b” personality disorders you’ll understand how they can destroy their own stories and arguments in court. This then moves the conversation to how

  • Co-parenting with a toxic ex ft. Dr. Amy Baker, Phd

    Co-parenting with a toxic ex ft. Dr. Amy Baker, Phd

    29/10/2020 Duração: 53min

    In today’s show Dr. Baker discusses can you really co-parent with a toxic ex. Answers the immediate question of what we can do right now to help our children. Duane then asks why does a child typically side with an alienating parent. Dr. Baker then discusses the question of does an alienating parent really love their child. Duane then asks is there a way to get other people to truly see what is going on. Duane then asks the about reunification therapy and is it really helpful. Dr. Baker then discusses when and how it is appropriate to talk to your children about what is going. Duane then asks is there a way to undo mistakes you’ve made? Finally Duane and Dr. Baker discusses how this ultimately makes us better patterns.Participate in the show!During the show you can call in live at1 (424) 373-54831 (424) DSD-LIVEhttps://www.callinstudio.com/show/DSDLIVE (Web Interface - free dialing)You can also leave a voicemail through the DSD websiteTable of Contents00:00 - Start of show01:22 - Introduction of Dr. Am

  • Most of the time all this bad is leading to something good

    Most of the time all this bad is leading to something good

    27/10/2020 Duração: 01h07s

    There is no denying divorcing a narcissistic, toxic, high conflict ex is extremely difficult and traumatic. But, oftentimes this pain is leading us to a better situation overall. While going through this it can feel like you’ll NEVER find a “silver lining” from these situations but Duane shares his own struggles with this and how he made it to the other side. We also discuss when is the right time to change attorneys. Duane than takes a question about the problems of forgetting to attach your child support guideline paperwork to your marriage separation agreement. A caller shares how they appreciate the “solutions based” nature of the show. The discussion then focuses on how an ex changes their tactics, especially if they feel they are losing control over you. A return caller shares the struggles of professional therapist NOT understanding the true nature of a narcissistic ex. Finally a caller shares why their ex previously, and randomly, pushed for visitation and it all was to try and lower child sup

  • The successes of NOT taking the bait

    The successes of NOT taking the bait

    26/10/2020 Duração: 59min

    This episode starts with a difficult ruling in court where an listeners wages were imputed even though they’ve been laid off because of COVID shutdowns. Duane then discusses the recurring problem where people beat themselves up for not see who the ex truly was. We then discuss and example of how healthy boundaries and emotional maturity really help weed out bad relationships. A listener is confused how an ex-MIL has zero interest in the grandchildren. A caller shares they just received a horrible GAL report that recommends LESS time. Duane then discusses how we have to work to NOT let this situation break us, reminds people you are in the long game and have to focus on that. We then have a caller who successful built a 6 month pattern showcasing his behavior compared to the ex and the judge FINALLY sees it! This leads into a discuss of the importance of making sure OUR responses DO NOT hurt us! A listener asks about how Duane’s house was distributed from the divorce and what happened. Duane wraps it

  • Ex has “right” to NOT see their kids

    Ex has “right” to NOT see their kids

    23/10/2020 Duração: 56min

    Duane recognizes the wonderfully supportive DSD community and how much he appreciates the viewers and listeners of the show. He then takes a question about a mother being informed her ex has the “right” to not see the kids on his designated time. Duane brings up how he dealt with that in his own situation during Christmas breaks. A viewer asks about Duane’s thoughts on children being resilient and what that really means. We then discuss the frustration when a toxic ex “acts” like “super parent” when around other people and how to expose them. Duane then discusses how to deal when the other parent threatens to “tell all” when the kids are 18, to the kids! DSD then tackles the question of how often should you reach out to your alienated adult child. A listener shares their experience of reconnecting with their father at 21 years old. We finish on the topic of being afraid the kids will be “turned” before they become 18.Participate in the show!During the show you can call in live at1 (424) 373-54831 (424

  • Does this narcissistic nightmare stop?

    Does this narcissistic nightmare stop?

    22/10/2020 Duração: 01h12s

    This show starts with a discussion of an ex not spending any times with the kids. Oftentimes a narcissistic toxic “parent” will move on with their lives and ignore their children. This can create abandonment issues what follow children into adulthood. We then discuss a comment where a listener is having recurring nightmares about their children NEVER waking up to the reality of their alienation. Duane then has a caller who is a mom and is fighting false allegations and trying to increase her time with her children. Duane then discusses the feelings of being unsure, alone, vulnerable, and scared of the uncertainty in family court. We then discuss a comment from a listener who shares their struggles to recover from an restraining order. Finally we end the show with a follow-up from a listener who ended up spending 48 hours in jail for arrears as a result of the COVID lockdown.Participate in the show!During the show you can call in live at1 (424) 373-54831 (424) DSD-LIVEhttps://www.callinstudio.com/show/DSD

  • Fathers Rights vs Family Law ft. Melissa Isaak from Isaak Law Firm

    Father's Rights vs Family Law ft. Melissa Isaak from Isaak Law Firm

    21/10/2020 Duração: 01h15s

    In today’s show Duane is joined by Melissa Isaak from the Isaak Law firm. Melissa is a Divorce attorney for me working to protect the rights of fathers in family court. She shares her personal experience that ultimately led her to be pursue this career. Melissa is an Army veteran, trained child psychologist, and now a practicing attorney. In this episode we discuss how to prepare for a potential divorce. The trend of parties now suing for defamation of character for inappropriate use of medical terms. The changes in family court and how narcissism and psychological abuse is recognized. They then tackle the question of “the silver bullet” and Melissa discusses way to defend yourself against it. She also discusses how important it is to fight and not just plead our your case when accused. Melissa also discusses the danger of toxic manipulative women and how “proximity” is power for them. We then discuss the effects of Title IV-D on family court and men. Duane and Melissa go into a detailed discussion o

  • Figuring out your life after narcissistic abuse

    Figuring out your life after narcissistic abuse

    20/10/2020 Duração: 01h09s

    Duane remembers the struggles he had for the first few years of his divorce. It can be so overwhelming to see a future post narcissistic abuse and financial trauma. You have to work hard to break the negative cycles and find peace and joy where you can. If you don’t you can trap yourself longer in the pain and misery. Duane then takes a return caller who shares a success story of how he is dealing with parental alienation right now. This leads into a discuss of how this is physiological warfare and we are stuck, as are our children, in the middle of it. We then have another caller who shares how when their child asks a weird question it really is asking “are you safe to love.” Duane then answers a listener’s comment about how their ex is dragging things out in court wasting time and money. We then discuss a listener situation where their ex turned on an old phone and is masquerading as them. This leads to a discussion of device security to protect your information. Finally we talk about how children

  • How can a narcissist keep you in fear

    How can a narcissist keep you in fear

    19/10/2020 Duração: 01h16s

    Duane starts the show taking a question from a listening wanting to know how to stop running the same scenarios through a loop in their head. It is important to remind yourself that it takes time to heal from narcissistic abuse and trauma. A caller shares how they are feeling better about fighting to see their child in court. This brings the topic back to how these people can push our buttons and trigger our fear. Duane shares a few recent examples of how the ex tries to continue “boop” him in the eye. A listener shares how the UK court didn’t care about alienation and games that were “played” during the early days of the COVID-19 lockdown. We then go into a discussion of Guardian Ad Litem and if we should “trust” them. A handful of listener share their bad past experience with a GAL. Finally we end on a discussion of what would be good topics to ask, Melissa Isaak from the Melissa Isaak Law Firm, who will be our guest for Wednesday.Participate in the show!During the show you can call in live at1 (424

  • Triggers and the deep trauma behind them | it might not be what you think | ft. Kris Godinez

    Triggers and the deep trauma behind them | it might not be what you think | ft. Kris Godinez

    16/10/2020 Duração: 01h05s

    In today’s episode Kris Godinez, licensed profession counselor and host of We Need to Talk with Kris Godinez, returns to discuss the topic of triggers. Triggers are very complicated and often misunderstood. They are a huge indicator of past trauma and help us realize there is more work to be done. They also cover the serious issue of not remembering your childhood and how that is an indicator of past repressed trauma. Duane then asks what can people do to help with the triggers and PTSD associated from going through the family court machine. Duane discusses the way he was able to deal with his PTSD and stop the emotional flashbacks. Kris discusses the importance of working through the trauma. Bottom line you can work through this but you can’t move forward until you are truly ready for a change.Participate in the show!During the show you can call in live at1 (424) 373-54831 (424) DSD-LIVEhttps://www.callinstudio.com/show/DSDLIVE (Web Interface - free dialing)You can also leave a voicemail through the D

  • Managing your stress and anxiety before trial | do not let the narcissist break you

    Managing your stress and anxiety before trial | do not let the narcissist break you

    15/10/2020 Duração: 01h05s

    In today’s show Duane discusses the emotional difficulties of preparing for court. We start with comments from listeners who are struggling on whether to settle or go to trail. We then discuss the complexities of being an adult child that was involved in alienation when younger and now dealing with it on the other side. Duane then has a caller who is in the beginning stages and struggling to understand the lies and deception their ex is throughout out there. DSD offers a way forward to minimize the impacts and strengthen the bond with the callers 11 year old son. Duane reminds people to be very selective on who you allow into your support system. Finally we take a caller who is preparing for a multi-day trail coming up and their thoughts that have helped thus far. Finally we wrap up the show discussion stress and managing exceptions of outcomes.Participate in the show!During the show you can call in live at1 (424) 373-54831 (424) DSD-LIVEhttps://www.callinstudio.com/show/DSDLIVE (Web Interface - free di

  • Ex playing games with medical | when should you settle

    Ex playing games with medical | when should you settle

    14/10/2020 Duração: 01h20s

    In this show we start with a victor for a long time listener who just won sole custody in their high conflict custody case. This father nearly gave up but was able to persevere AND win! Duane then takes a question about dental billing and the nuances of a court order. A listener asks for advice on if a “stay-a-way” order is appropriate. We then have a 21 year old caller who is fresh out of an abusive relationship and dealing with flying monkeys, hoovers, and the lack of understand and support from family and friends. Finally Duane finishes the show with a return call asking for input on if the settlement that was offered is worth taking.Participate in the show!During the show you can call in live at1 (424) 373-54831 (424) DSD-LIVEhttps://www.callinstudio.com/show/DSDLIVE (Web Interface - free dialing)You can also leave a voicemail through the DSD websiteTable of Contents00:00 - Start of show08:42 - Listener won sole custody in their case12:01 - Ex is playing games with dentist, insurance, and supplemental

  • Deciding the right course of action (coa) against a narcissistic ex

    Deciding the right course of action (coa) against a narcissistic ex

    13/10/2020 Duração: 01h09s

    The show begins with a caller who is struggling to decide how to proceed in court. We often deal with ex’s that are putting our children’s health and emotional wellbeing at risk. The issue is it is VERY difficult to prove. The caller is seeking advice on how to proceed with her current request for modification. This rolls into the recurring discussion of really thinking about the battles and how to win the overarching war. It is so easy to take the narcissist’s bait and ultimately hurt our own chances at victory. This dovetails with the next caller who shares his winning strategy that he is using to turn the tide in his own court case. Duane finishes the show discussing the importance of crafting our message to effectively communicate what the true issues are with our case.Participate in the show!During the show you can call in live at1 (424) 373-54831 (424) DSD-LIVEhttps://www.callinstudio.com/show/DSDLIVE (Web Interface - free dialing)You can also leave a voicemail through the DSD websiteTable of Con

  • Damaged people damage people - how toxic people

    Damaged people damage people - how toxic people

    12/10/2020 Duração: 59min

    Duane starts the show off discussing how damaged people damage others. This comes from a conversation with a friend who is struggling with their marriage falling part. He discusses how people who have deep trauma are unable to accept positive relationships. These people will often sabotage their relationships to have a self fulfilling prophecy. Duane then takes a caller who shares how their ex is using their own trauma and disfunction to hurt the kids and damage everyone involved. We then take a 21 yo caller who was able to recognize a toxic relationship and take his life back BEFORE too much damage was done. Duane shares his personal experience and why it took him 20 years to finally say enough is enough. Finally we take a caller who shares a success with her 10yo son and provides some outstanding insights on proving parental alienation!Participate in the show!During the show you can call in live at1 (424) 373-54831 (424) DSD-LIVEhttps://www.callinstudio.com/show/DSDLIVE (Web Interface - free dialing)

  • Breaking the toxic patterns of our lives

    Breaking the toxic patterns of our lives

    09/10/2020 Duração: 01h15s

    In today’s show Duane starts but sharing his struggles with changing his own personal behavioral patterns. He has noticed even with this new show it is talking time to realize he doesn’t have to follow his previous patterns. He then takes a caller who is suffering from parental alienation and is feeling guilty for wanting to see their child. We then discuss the times when you have to take a break from the stress and go no contact with the ex AND our children. Duane then takes a caller discussing reunification therapy for when alienation is severe. Finally Duane has a caller who is struggling trying to negotiate with their ex on time not covered in the court order.Participate in the show!During the show you can call in live at1 (424) 373-54831 (424) DSD-LIVEhttps://www.callinstudio.com/show/DSDLIVE (Web Interface - free dialing)You can also leave a voicemail through the DSD websiteTable of Contents00:00 - Start of show05:46 - How we get stuck in patterns14:06 - Caller - Am I selfish to want to see my child

  • Winning a Toxic Narcissistic Divorce | Attorney Marco Brown

    Winning a Toxic Narcissistic Divorce | Attorney Marco Brown

    08/10/2020 Duração: 01h06s

    Marco Brown is a Divorce Attorney based out of Salt Lake City Utah. Duane found Marco through his TikTok channel where he shares advice and tactics on all things divorce. He has produced outstanding content on high conflict, toxic, and narcissistic divorces and during this show he is going to share that knowledge with you. Marco is one of the few attorneys I've found that "gets it". In this episode they discuss how to find a really good attorney, the pitfalls of self-representation, do you need a “pit bull” attorney, does mental health diagnosis help, will you lose if you have depression, restraining orders, parental alienation and much more!❋ Marco Brown - https://www.utdivorceattorney.com/❋ Marco Brown TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@divorceattorney/video/6859781073337978117?source=h5_mParticipate in the show!During the show you can call in live at1 (424) 373-54831 (424) DSD-LIVEhttps://www.callinstudio.com/show/DSDLIVE (Web Interface - free dialing)You can also leave a voicemail through the DSD websit

  • Figuring the narcissist out | it’s a trap

    Figuring the narcissist out | it’s a trap

    07/10/2020 Duração: 58min

    The “connection” to a toxic narcissistic ex is their strength against you. That connection can cause you to spend a lot of time trying to “figure” them out. It is a trap and you have to be careful of getting pulled into that mindset. The reality is they do not think the same way, process things the say way, or even FEEL the same was as you go. This rolls into a discussion where a viewer has an ex that has been going to therapy and may be getting better. A listener then comments their boyfriend of four years is still thinking and talking about their ex. A caller shares a strategy of potentially requesting anger management classes for their ex. Duane then uses a story of being accused of “throwing rocks” when you are getting hit by them. Finally we take return caller who is questioning if his boundaries are appropriate.Participate in the show!During the show you can call in live at1 (424) 373-54831 (424) DSD-LIVEhttps://www.callinstudio.com/show/DSDLIVE (Web Interface - free dialing)You can also leave a

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