How To Stop Wanting Him Back

Sinopse

Heartbreak coach, Claire Byrne, breaks down exactly how you can finally STOP wanting your ex back on this podcast that is unlike any other heartbreak podcast out there! Heartbreak is messy, painful and overwhelmingly daunting at times, but it can also be the gateway to embark on a new journey beyond your wildest dreams if you LET it. You will laugh, you will cry, and have your own mind BLOWN, by how POSSIBLE it will be for you to THRIVE from heartbreak, versus barely survive. After years of enduring toxic relationships, and being at a loss on how to navigate through the pain, Claire is now dedicated to helping other women like her, not only STOP wanting him back, but become the best version of themselves, BECAUSE of the heartbreak. PLEASE NOTE: Claire refers to her exes and the listeners ex as a he, based on her own personal experience as a heterosexual female, but this work can be applied to ANYONE going through heartbreak. ALL genders and sexual orientations are encouraged to listen and apply Claires tools into their own lives!

Episódios

  • Bad Reasons To Date

    Bad Reasons To Date

    28/09/2020 Duração: 30min

    “I’m over being single.” This is something I have heard again and again from clients that are looking to date and are trying to call in Mr. or Ms. Right. Let’s dive into some of the bad reasons to date and find out why they aren’t serving you. Stop giving your energy to what isn’t working. It’s all about your thoughts which create your results. Do the thought work, love your singledom, and love the fuck out of yourself. If you truly believe your ideal person is out there, you will be able to date for the right reasons, and call love in. I’m currently working on creating my course, How to Stop Wanting Him Back and Find Someone Better. I am so excited about creating this affordable option for you! It has over 50 videos, teaching you how to stop wanting Mr. or Ms. Wrong back and how to fall the fuck in love with you, authentically, before you call in someone better. The course launches this November. To learn more and stay updated on the course, subscribe at https://clairetheheartbreakcoach.com/Topics in this ep

  • Your Rejection Story

    Your Rejection Story

    21/09/2020 Duração: 39min

    “He rejected me.” This is something I have heard clients say to me before, and is a story we so often believe about our situations as though they are a fact. However, the situation is neutral, and rejection is just a thought you have. In this episode, I dive into ways in which you may be rejecting yourself, putting this into the thought model, and how to create space for Mr. or Ms. Right to enter. I hope this episode helps you know that you are not someone who is rejected. You are loved unconditionally and deserve the best love life beyond your wildest dreams. It starts with believing it is possible, and with that belief, you can create the result.I am currently working on creating a course coming this November called Stop Wanting Him Back and Find Someone Better. I covered a bit about the course in this episode. To learn more, sign up for my email newsletter at: https://clairetheheartbreakcoach.com/Topics in this episodeHow you are in one area of your life is how you are in all areas of your lifeWhat it look

  • Im Too Good For Him

    I'm Too Good For Him

    14/09/2020 Duração: 34min

    These words are so powerful. I was recently working with a client, and when these words rolled off her tongue, and it made my heart soar. She came to me because she’s been in a relationship for several years that has not been serving her, and I’ve been coaching her through it, and when she said this, it was so empowering and was full of self-love and self-ownership. In this episode, I share with you the importance of being able to identify when this thought is helpful, versus when it comes from a place of feeling whiney. If your result that you are working for is to stop wanting him or her back, then you have to believe in your bones that you will not settle for less than you deserve, and that begins with showing up, doing the work, and falling the fuck in love with yourself.Topics in this episodeYour thoughts create your results.When you commit your brain to the result that you want, you will figure it out. Check yourself with your self-coachingPining for someone who doesn’t see the good things about youReso

  • LOVING Being The Third Wheel

    LOVING Being The Third Wheel

    07/09/2020 Duração: 39min

    I was recently talking with a friend who is newly in love. She has asked another friend of hers, who is single, to hang out with her and her new partner, but the friend has turned her down because she didn’t want to be the third wheel. This is a topic I’ve also talked about with clients and listeners before as well. Instead of holding onto feelings that aren’t serving you, what if you turned it around and you used the couple that you were spending time with as evidence of what’s possible for you? In this episode, I share with you why it is so important to manage your mind around enjoying these friendships, and how to get over your victim story in order to call love in. Topics in this episodeFinding love during a pandemicLooking for moments when your heartbreak is serving you versus hurting youYou must be willing to lean into the pain and take responsibilityWhiney victimhood is never going to serve you. It all starts with your mind, and with an appreciation for what is.Use the friendships of those around you i

  • Setting The Bar Too Low

    Setting The Bar Too Low

    31/08/2020 Duração: 30min

    This episode is inspired by the work that I have been doing with a client recently. She was dating this guy and said that she was falling in love with him, but also recognized that he wasn’t emotionally available and showing up for her in ways that were very important. When I asked her why she was falling in love, it really boiled down to the fact that he was doing small gestures for her. Ladies. A sweet gesture is not enough of a reason to be in love with someone who is not showing up for you emotionally. I’m sure many of you listeners can relate to her experience, and in this episode, I dive deep into what it looks like when you’re setting the bar too low, how to establish the values that are important to you, and calling in love in your ideal relationship. Topics in this episodeThe 5 love languages:Quality timePhysical touchWords of affirmationActs of serviceGiftsAttachment stylesYou should never have to guess your partner’s level of interestThe small things are added bonuses.Important qualities to look fo

  • Your Emotional Unavailability

    Your Emotional Unavailability

    24/08/2020 Duração: 38min

    Some of you listening may think, “Claire, I am totally emotionally available. It’s the guys I’m attracting who are emotionally unavailable.” I call bullshit, in the most loving way. Like attracts like. If you’re thinking you’re emotionally available, but you keep attracting emotionally unavailable men, there is something in you that is emotionally unavailable. In this episode, I share with you the journey I’ve been through when I was emotionally unavailable, and how I got myself, and work with my clients, to get through this, so they can change their thoughts, and call Mr. Right in. Topics in this episodeWhere are you being noncommittal, in your dating life, and with yourself? The work comes from your thoughts. Your thoughts create your results.Think, feel, and behave as the woman in her ideal relationship Why deadlines are helpful and how to assess our progress if we don’t meet the deadline for a goal It’s not about how many dates you went on, it’s about the mind and how you are showing upIf you’re feeling l

  • Why Cant I Find The Love I Deserve?

    Why Can't I Find The Love I Deserve?

    17/08/2020 Duração: 30min

    This episode was inspired by a conversation with a new client who, on her consultation, asked the rhetorical question, “Why can’t I find the love that I deserve?” This is something I have heard other clients and women ask themselves, and in this episode, I really get into what it is at the heart of this question we are asking ourselves, and I reveal that this question doesn’t actually serve you or the results you desire. It starts with getting real with what your brain is saying, doing the work, and not letting yourself off the hook. This is also the exact kind of thing I help clients with. Working with a coach can be very powerful because they can see your blind spots and they can show you where it is you should be showing up for yourself. If you are looking for a coach and you think we may be a great fit, you can apply for my one-on-one coaching at https://clairetheheartbreakcoach.com/work-with-meTopics in this episodeThe intentional thought modelThe two thoughts behind “Why can’t I find the love I deserve?

  • Why Youre Not Doing The Work

    Why You're Not Doing The Work

    10/08/2020 Duração: 01h10min

    I recently finished reading Wealth Warrior by Steve Chandler, and it inspired the topic of today’s episode; why you’re not doing the work. As I share in each episode, the thought model I use with my clients is the same that my coach uses with me: your thoughts create feelings, that drive actions, that yield you results. In Steve Chandler’s book, he takes a slightly different approach. For his clients are feeling stuck, he tells them to pick something, and go all in. In this episode, I explore this idea a bit more, and how it compliments the thought model I use in my coaching, as well as why you aren’t doing the work, and what it is that’s holding you back from the results you truly desire. Topics in this episodeThe 3 reasons you aren’t doing the workYou’re not readyYou don’t believe it worksYou are scared of successWhen you’re suffering, and struggling, and in pain, you’re probably not motivated to do the work. What makes me the coach I am todayWhy I always said yesEating a shit sandwichMy daily hour I spend

  • Lets Talk About Vulnerability

    Let's Talk About Vulnerability

    03/08/2020 Duração: 38min

    In this episode, I want to discuss vulnerability and the vulnerability in your dating life. This topic was inspired by some of my clients, and coaching them to realize that getting what you desire, getting to that ideal relationship, requires us to be vulnerable. We have to lean into the suck, lean into the pain, and know that what’s on the other side, and being in our ideal relationship with Mr. or Ms. Right is worth it. In this episode, I share with you some personal experiences with vulnerability, especially in my current relationship, as well as sharing some of the coachings I have done to help my clients have difficult conversations with the people they are dating, in order to get them the results they want. By the end of this episode, I want you to know that when you are vulnerable, and when you choose you, you win. Topics in this episodeDefining vulnerabilityYour two choices:Stay small and safe, out of fearStep into your vulnerability and get results You can create anything you wantFear and discomfort

  • When The Work Isnt Working

    When The Work Isn't Working

    27/07/2020 Duração: 50min

    I really wanted to make an episode about this because I make a guarantee to all my clients that come to me, that they will get the results they are looking for if they do the work. I am able to make this guarantee because I know that it works and that your thoughts create your results. Two years ago I was living in a crappy house with a roommate so I could keep expenses low and invest in coaching. I knew, even then, before I had created the coaching career that I have now, and the ideal relationship that I’m in now, that the work, works. As a result, I attracted the up-leveled man, and I up-leveled my finances and my life overall. I created that. I committed to doing the work. I am a product of the processes I put in place, so I know that if you invest your time and become an observer of your thoughts, you can create your results too. Topics in this episodeYour behaviors are a mirror image of how you feel about yourselfThe fear that the other shoe is going to dropWhy isn’t this working?Why haven’t I found the

  • Its Not Your Fault

    It's Not Your Fault

    20/07/2020 Duração: 32min

    I received a message from a listener of the podcast, and she said that listening to this podcast inspired her to leave a partner who was not treating her well. She’s been really picking up what I’ve been putting down about how our thoughts create our results. She was nursing the wounds of someone else not treating her well, and so when she entered into a new relationship, she had fears that he would fuck her over. She thought that those thoughts created him to not treat her well. And that isn’t true. In this episode, I share from my personal and coaching experiences how to shift your thoughts, take responsibility for what we can control, and heal from our relationships in order to find Mr. or Ms. Right. The topic of this episode is an example of needing a coach to help you see your blind spots. I hope that anyone that is listening is wanting to lead an intentional life filled with love and integrity. That love starts with you. If you’re listening to this podcast, in need of a coach, and think we may be a grea

  • Why Do Men Disappear?

    Why Do Men Disappear?

    13/07/2020 Duração: 48min

    Why do men disappear? This is a very commonly asked question from people on social media, and it has actually been a running theme for a couple of my clients. One client in particular came to me wanting to heal her heart about her past relationships and she’s moving through the process of wanting to love herself so beautifully, and she’s ready to online date again. Part of what I do is that I get to help women design their profiles on dating apps. It’s awkward writing about yourself, but it can be so much fun if you allow your brain to expand to that possibility and believe that Mr. or Ms. Right is really out there. How we see these dating apps and how we think about them affects the results we get from them. We have to believe in the possibility that our person could actually be there. I asked my client to try creating her profile on a dating app, and she really didn’t want to do it. On her first attempt, I could tell that it was done without much time and effort put into it, and only because I had asked her

  • How Committed Are You?

    How Committed Are You?

    06/07/2020 Duração: 47min

    How committed are you to stopping wanting Mr. or Mrs. Wrong back? Maybe you have stopped wanting that person back, but how committed are you to stopping the anger, bitterness, and even the fear of being heartbroken again? In this episode, I want to recognize that we are now halfway through 2020 and it’s important to remember the results we want to create and that we can create those results with our thoughts. I think it’s pretty safe to say that for pretty much all of us, 2020 has been a shit show, and it has derailed us from the expectations we had for this year.  For me personally, I have been struggling and I’m coming out of a dark period that I was going through for the last few months. My job is to show you how to heal and to show you what’s possible with your brain. I am an example of what’s possible. Last week I realized that we are halfway through the year, and this is the perfect time to look ahead to the December 2020 versions of ourselves we want to be, and to recommit to becoming her. You can abso

  • The Right Way To Get Closure

    The Right Way To Get Closure

    29/06/2020 Duração: 56min

    This episode is inspired by a client who struggles with getting closure from her last relationship,  which is especially difficult since he just left and never spoke to her again. She was all in with coaching for six months, finding her way, and being strong in resisting the urge to contact her ex. However, every time she went out on a date, she started to lose some of that resistance. Why? Well, I think almost everyone has had the experience where we thought we already moved on and started dating someone, only to realize that this guy reminds us of our ex! And the worst part is? That drives us to think about our ex more and thinking that we need to reach out to them for closure and to make sense of what happened. Our brain is fixated in believing that the only option for our peace and the mending of our heart is having a closure with our ex. As a coach, the ex's "silence" is already enough closure, however, my client thinks otherwise. I know, we should knock her brains out and convince her, that's not the ca

  • Seeking External Validation

    Seeking External Validation

    22/06/2020 Duração: 43min

    Validating who we are from the people we love is normal, and it's okay. We need to allow ourselves that sense of relief, regardless if that relationship will work or if the guy will show interest in you or not. It stings, but the only guarantee that you have is to show up as yourself. Be aware, be committed to check yourselves and the facts, and not judge your brain if it gets too excited. For example, let's say you go on a first date and the guy calls you and you get excited. This is the fun part! You deserve to feel good about it. And lastly, you also have to be ready to go to a place of worst scenarios. As Byron Katie said, "turn around the automatic painful thoughts."It's hard to let you see that vulnerable side of me seeking external validation, but I love showing what's possible and being an example of that. Be with the discomfort, love yourself, be compassionate. You owe it to yourself. And, who knows, someone who's a better fit for you will come your way, in the most unexpected time and place. Just li

  • Heartbreak In Your Ideal Relationship

    Heartbreak In Your Ideal Relationship

    15/06/2020 Duração: 42min

    Frankly, I was struggling in finishing this episode with all the negative thoughts I have, not to mention the pandemic and these couple of weeks that there is a lot of going on with the black lives matter movement. This is a contradiction to everyone listening especially to those who are in pain that they might think that the work that I do doesn't work. How am I experiencing heartbreak in an ideal relationship anyway?  I have my not-so-great-Claire moments with my partner that I feel like I don't deserve him. After digging deep, this thought all boils down to my past experiences where I was used to being rejected and unloved, and then there's this guy who would just wrap his arms around me, forgives, and accepts me when I snapped. This hit me with unnerving shame and guilt because my brain is not used to being loved despite my flaws. It thinks that this is impossible. Talk about how my brain is choosing to selectively forget that part and looking for the next shoe to drop because it is not used to these heav

  • Heartbreak For Black Lives

    Heartbreak For Black Lives

    08/06/2020 Duração: 01h07min

    Welcome to a very special episode, Heartbreak for Black Lives. I am bringing on one of my nearest and dearest friends, Aisha Kabia. We met 11 years ago when I moved to LA. She embraced me with open arms, and it was the beginning of one of the most treasured and beautiful friendships that I have in my life. We’ve had many conversations over the years about so many different topics, but the one thing we’ve never really talked about is what it’s like to be a black woman in the United States. I wanted to talk about this topic because this is a heartbreaking matter, and I am a heartbreak coach. I am a coach who continues to get coached because I never want to stop learning. I never want to stop growing and contributing to being someone who can facilitate the healing of hearts, and having this dialogue is how we heal. You can feel your shame and feel your guilt. Understand the thinking behind it that created it, and then go do something about it. There are so many options. You can donate. You can educate yourself.

  • Its Harder Than Heartbreak

    It's Harder Than Heartbreak

    01/06/2020 Duração: 48min

    What's harder than heartbreak? Breaking your freakin' patterns! If it's not serving you, change it! I was inspired to do this episode because one of my closest friends, Samantha, who is stuck in a pattern in her dating life. She is in a wishy-washy relationship with a guy that has been dragging on and on.  Even when she has all of the information and can see that he is unavailable, she stays in this pattern of off and on again dating with him.  All of my clients have different patterns that they may or may not be aware of, and breaking free from those is hard work, but I know you can do it. It’s all about doing the thought work and showing up for yourself.  Often times, we aren’t aware of our blind spots and the thoughts that our brains are thinking. You may think that your brain is thinking one thing, when really, it’s thinking something totally different. If you want to break free from your patterns, you have to be able to observe and identify the thoughts you’re having so that you can change them. When you

  • Its NOT Just A Thought!

    It's NOT Just A Thought!

    25/05/2020 Duração: 59min

    This episode is inspired by a recent conversation I had with someone who said that they have been listening to this podcast for a while now, and they are picking up what I’m putting down. However, they’re struggling with the idea that “It’s just a thought”.  If you’ve been listening to this podcast for a while, you know that I use Brooke Castillo’s thought model, and that your thoughts create actions, which create results. And it’s true that some of our thoughts feel very painful and very real. I myself went through very painful thoughts after my rock bottom heart break. However, over time, committing to the work, and working with my coach, I know that it is just a thought.  When you are struggling, look at the facts of the matter, and look at your thoughts around those facts. No thoughts are permanent. And by committing to doing this work, self-coaching, and working with a coach, you’ll be able to recognize what is true and what isn’t. And when you’re able to see your thoughts, a shift happens.  I’m also exc

  • Learning From Your Mistakes

    Learning From Your Mistakes

    18/05/2020 Duração: 37min

    This episode is inspired by a listener review, and as much as I have the best intentions, I know that my coaching isn’t for everyone. My insight and coaching as a heartbreak coach only works for those who are open and willing to work with me. But I know that I’m not here to serve everybody. This particular listener wrote that I don’t take my own advice and that when I first met my boyfriend, I spent a whole weekend with him. I understand how this could be triggering. She raises a great point. When I first met him, our date lasted 36 hours.  The truth is that I had been on a soul-searching and coaching journey and that I had put in the work, especially in the last two years when I’d been working with my coach Stacey Boehman. I had decided to call Mr. Right in my life and had done a ton or workaround that. I had committed and I knew that even if things didn’t work out, that I would be ok, and that I wouldn’t fall apart. And I would do it all over again. That’s the key. Doing the work and learning from your mist

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